Saturday, June 22, 2013

Troubadour Turned Away

An 'Agent' called asking if their 'Star' could come and sing in the Tavern. Hey, the patrons here like good music and we often have fine voices entertaining us.

But I told her to bugger off.  The 'Star' was just another narcissist troubadour nonebrity with an entourage and ideas way above their station. We had plenty of those back in my Knightly days too and they usually felt the flat of a sword on their arses if they demanded the Honours reserved for battle-sound fellows.

This is a Tavern for hardy souls.

My good friend Bill is of the same mind. But casts his net a little wider:

According to Hollywood reporter Blair Late stars get whatever they desire when they’re on tour. ‘Once you hit a certain calibre of celebrity, you’re given everything you want,’ Mr Late said. ‘Each promoter at the venue has to agree with a contract between the artist and the team of the artist of what they require in the dressing room’.”
Here are some of the remarkable demands being made:

 -Jon Bon Jovi’s band have once reportedly asked for a personal wardrobe supervisor to look after their leather pants and cowboy hats.

 -Motley Crue has asked for a 12-foot-long boa constrictor.

 -Marilyn Manson once asked for a bald hooker with no teeth and Eminem demanded a fully stocked Koi pond.

 -Beyonce requires 600 Euros worth of titanium straws to drink her water.

 -Courtney and Kim Kardasian requested that the journalist, staff and assistants treat them as royalty and refer to them with fake pseudonym names.

 -Madonna also makes crazy demands when she goes on tour. She needs a room backstage for her 200 person entourage and 20 international phone lines for them to make calls. She also requests for white and pink roses with their stems cut down to exactly six inches.

 -One of the most bizarre tour requests was made by singer Mariah Carey who demanded special bendy straws to sip from her crystal champagne. She also wanted puppies and kittens in a crate in her room backstage.

I was flabbergasted and outraged after seeing that segment.

Who in the world do these boneheads think they are?

They seem to think they have transcended us mere humans, and live in another exalted solar system. They consider themselves to be gods and goddesses to whom we all must bow.

Not the Tavern Dress Code

But back to the impeccable timing bit: Just as soon as I finished watching this story I found a piece elsewhere speaking about other big cheese celebrities – albeit Christian ones. The story told of some of our mega-preachers and tele-evangelists, and what they are charging for people to hear them. Yep, you read that right. Preachers of the gospel are charging people to hear them share the gospel – or at least their anaemic version of it.

These hot dog Christian celebs think they can actually charge people to hear them talk about Jesus and the gospel. Never mind that they are usually proclaiming another Jesus and another gospel. But they have the gall and the arrogance to actually make people pay for the privilege of hearing them.

Then he launched into a scathing critique of these strange Protestant mobsters  who seem to originate in some parts of America where there is a long tradition of snake-oil salesmen peddling poisons for the soul.
Not that every Pastor is a greedy nong. Some have some useful things to say but do not charge an arm and a leg for it. OK, they 'bash the Bible' a tad too hard for this ancient Catholic, especially the 'Old Testament' which is in dire need of being put in its place. But an engaging, earthy fellow can reach parts which a fine Sufi wine can reach too, even if their earth is Texan dust.

We welcome everyone here but while many are called, few deserve to be chosen. They fall afoul of the Tavern dress-code.

Bill is a Protestant too, so don't think we are rigid in our charitableness.


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Ne meias in stragulo aut pueros circummittam.

Our Bouncer is a gentleman of muscle and guile. His patience has limits. He will check you at the door.

The Tavern gets rowdy visitors from time to time. Some are brain dead and some soul dead. They attack customers and the bar staff and piss on the carpets. Those people will not be allowed in anymore. So... Be Nice..