Wednesday, September 11, 2013

The Feminine Woman

Several days and nights of deep discussion has kept the taps flowing to quench the thirst for knowledge. They still flow. I have had to change barrels a time or ten and one entire cellar wall has been emptied of bottles.

And I might have to make several reports from behind the bar on this one. All because of an eternal question. What is ' Feminine'?

It started quietly enough with one regular gal, Louise, the Southern Gal, a Lady of note, asking some chaps sitting close just what was it about 'Feminine' that they liked.

The silence lasted an entire second before someone else asked what it was.

Few could recall actually seeing 'feminine' around for a while. Plenty of feminIST women but few feminine women. It is almost as though our culture has forgotten what it is to be feminine.

Women in the West, said Loiuse, often underestimate the power of the femininity they are born with.  Like muscle, if femininity isn’t refined and developed it loses its definition and effectiveness. 
That was a silk gauntlet thrown down, but before a hand could pick it up to try it on, others chimed in with even more fundamental questions. Repeatedly: 'what is it'?

It seems a lot of people these days are asking. Women are even asking men !!

Has the world gone completely mad that women seek a man's opinion?!!

Of course, older men knowing what's good for them, avoid an answer. But some younger chaps are up for it. Ah, youth.

I think Obi ( I think that was his name) who stopped for a pint was onto some things there but the part about girls not having to learn to be feminine women doesn't quite seem to fit what we see. Many women today take silk gauntlets and make pigs ears out of them. They have not learned; not been taught; how to be feminine.
I gave him a pint for his effort anyway. He seems a nice young fellow.
But the being 'Opposite' does ring true, thanks Obi, and little girls do manage that quite easily without having to learn.  The interference with a child, girl or boy, learning just what their God-given natures are, is a playground for feminists who never left the playground.
Feminists Fear Femininity.
They deny it's efficacy, its essentiality, its essence. They have made great attempts to crush it out of little girls. Hardly surprising that many women to day have lost sight of it and men miss it. Feminists want women to be like men, so they have tried to crush the 'Feminine' out of women.
Then there is the issue of 'girly'. It takes a talent to be girly and lack of talent can easily create a parody of 'pretend' girly.  Tomboys were ever accepted. They can take even masculine pursuit and exercise a magical quality to make a soft and feminine and fun. It is when their effort is crass and demanding that the troubles start. And it is when they become scathing of 'masculine' simply because it belongs to men that it doubles.
Little girls and big ones have role models and most of our role model information comes from 'looking', observing'. So what do we or they see? It provides the gym-plan that enables the 'muscle development' that Louise speaks of.
But more: why has femininity fallen away so that we see little of it. A colourful young woman piped up with her view, and if nothing else she demonstrated the 'opposite' to the colourful chap before.

So harshness out. It has to go. Taking self-control of an inner 'essence is a fine skill if a woman has feminine courage. Peaceful graceful and flowing are qualities a man can respond to in a loving way.
That definitely isn't what we see around us from the harsh demanding, masculine-stealing feminists.
But to what end? Why be feminine?
Louise is a Lady from the South. I know she is a Lady as I recognise her husband as a fellow Knight  His prowess is astride a winged steed upon which he soars across strange lands seeking battle and glory, as a man does. And being a Southern Gal she looks to the older ways for her models as well as the modern. She soars over 'time' and gathers her bounty from many markets. She tries to be like the woman she admires:

“An excellent wife who can find?  She is far more precious than jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain.   
She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life. 
  She seeks wool and flax, and works with willing hands.  She is like the ships of the merchant;  she brings her food from afar.  She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household and portions for her maidens.  She considers a field and buys it; with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.  She dresses herself with strength and makes her arms strong.  She perceives that her merchandise is profitable.  Her lamp does not go out at night.  She puts her hands to the distaff, and her hands hold the spindle.  She opens her hand to the poor and reaches out her hands to the needy.  She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household are clothed in scarlet.  She makes bed coverings for herself; her clothing is fine linen and purple.  Her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land.  She makes linen garments and sells them; she delivers sashes to the merchant.   
Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come.  She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.  She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.   
Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: ‘Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.’   
Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.  Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates.”
Proverbs 31:10-31  
Yes, the nub of 'why be feminine' lies in its connectedness with the masculine to make a 'whole': a family; a Life. The 'Proverbs' woman has all the good qualities of a hard-working, striving modern business woman but without all the feminist cant and jealousy and demand for a 'quota'.  She is not whining about the vote or special assistance. She does not seek to sit with her husband amongst the elders at the gates. She is pragmatic. She is as much as a 'Provider' as her husband.

She is a mature, adult woman.

And I dare say a sexy one at that if you care to look up the Song of Songs !
How beautiful you are, my darling!
    Oh, how beautiful!
    Your eyes are doves.


16 How handsome you are, my beloved!
    Oh, how charming!
    And our bed is verdant.

Nothing backward or timorous about that gal !

Louise is pragmatic too. She said:

There is no doubt that the Proverbs 31 wife is a difficult one for any women to live up too.  She most likely did have her bad days, her faults, her imperfections, and her own personal struggles.  The point is, her life was her family and she did the best she could to help her home and others around her community to do good and help others instead of live a life consumed with selfishness like so many modern women do.
So I ask the Western women, “Where is the feminine energy today?”   
The answer is simple, due to the feminist movement our womeness has been “redefined” out of us in the name of “equality”.   
But at what cost? Through this process we have destroyed the very thing that makes us unique and different from our male counterparts: our femininity.   
The feminine, nurturing souls of our grandmothers’ day are only but a faint memory that can only be seen today in the old movies from another time.  Another precious time when men were men.  And women were women. 
When asked “What does it mean to be feminine?” or “What does it mean to be a women?” the Western woman are usually left puzzled.  It is but a distant memory of their childhood. 

Now, what did I once think it was going to be like? Once when I was little?

The little girl within her that longed to be a mother, that played dress up with dolls, house, and be the very warmth of her home was laid to rest when the Progressive state stepped in to reprogram her.   
That girl valued herself, her body, her time, her gentleness, she was not afraid of her womanhood.  On the contrary, she found strength in it, she was content with it, she was happy with what G-d made her to be.   
Where are those women in the west today?  Can we reach within ourselves and re-awaken her spirit and save our souls again? 
The girl and the woman still do have models and examples, of course, but just like men they go by appearances more than anything. And there are a lot of appearances to choose fro, many if not all of which can express what little or much of the femininity in her.



"Well, Hello Boys !"

"I haven't put my lamp out all night."

Many women today in their scramble to emulate men, lose the plot.

They get that something is wrong 
but fail to see that it is them.

Trying to combine the feminine and the masculine in one person just doesn't work. David Copperfield would have a harder time with it than passing through the Great Wall. This young woman does not fare any better.

Does that sound like 'Feminine'? Does it make you want to fall on your sword? Slit your writs? Have a long drink? I'll take the latter. She could be such a nice girl if she unclenched her fists.

The Southern Gal went on:

Softness, kindness, compassion, delicateness, a caring heart, empathy, consideration for others, comfort in her vulnerability, the ability to put others at ease...a woman should be all of these things. 
And no hubris about them. No claims that they are Unique to women. Well, perhaps the 'Delicate' part may be. But definitely no claiming 'superiority'. Men do not 'lack' any human quality. It may be that women are more naturally inclined to this one or that.

But it is not a competition.
These Qualities are Gifts. 
These qualities should be refined, developed and nurtured into her adulthood.   

And one must ask:
Whom Does the Grail Serve?
A friend of mine once wrote what effect feminine women had on him and what he appreciated about feminine women. His explanation was eye opening and encouraging for me to hear.  

“Things to appreciate about women (when they choose to embrace their femininity):  They don't get bored easily with small, repetitive tasks. 
They like to make others feel comfortable--they do this with determination.  They're highly responsive to others' emotions 
*as a result, they are like "social glue" between people, often being peacemakers when the realm of "down-to-business" can get overly impersonal and emotion can get forgotten 
*they can find the good in a man who struggles and nurture it, while showing empathy and sympathy to his vulnerabilities. She's a safe, non-competitive friend/companion. 
*they receive help from a man with respect (i.e. without "using" or "controlling" him) 
*they listen and respond--great soundboards! They can mirror someone else's thoughts which makes them easier for the thinker/talker to examine as he works those thoughts out. 
*their work is often personal and their good intention for a person can be felt in their work, from their long efforts to get to know them (example: cooking somebody's favorite meal) 
*And yes, many of them can do math:)”

In the West, femininity is so far diminished.  For those of us who were taught to nourish this trait within ourselves, we are often met with great hostility.  
Because we live in a culture that is dominated by progressives, we cannot be women, and men cannot be men.  And doing so for either of us is often met with the label “Intolerance”. 
 To form our identity that is individual from the state sends a chill to the very bones of the progressive regime. 

The Progressives know that in order to  destroy the woman,
you must destroy her femininity. 
You must convince her that she is somehow “opressed” by it. 
Most Western women don’t even have the slightest clue how to be feminine even in their appearance.  Notice  Grace Kelly and Aubrey Hepburn...where are these women in these modern times?  We have very few.  The blurred lines of gender identity can even be seen in our physical appearance.

Indeedy. And compare them and their 'cool' femininity with the rather hotter style of their colleague-in-entertainment, Marilyn.

And then there is the glorious Rita. Am I showing my age? Maybe. But what an age.


Now THAT is 'Flowing femininity'. ! Women today can wear the chiffon skirts but can they 'move' them?


And of course even back in those days the 'feminine icons' kept a close eye on each other to see just what assets were being deployed and how.

I will bring you more comments from others in the bars that night - and next day and night too - but to keep this within concentration limits I will have Louise lead us out.

 Elisabeth Elliot also defines femininity beautifully in the following..

“To me, a lady is not frilly, flouncy, flippant, frivolous and fluff-brained, but she is gentle. She is gracious. She is godly and she is giving… .
You and I, if we are women, have the gift of femininity. Very often it is obscured, just as the image of God is obscured in all of us… .
I find myself in the sometimes quite uncomfortable position of having to belabour the obvious, and hold up examples of femininity to women who almost feel apologetic for being feminine or being womanly.
I would remind you that femininity is not a curse. It is not even a triviality. It is a gift, a divine gift, to be accepted with both hands, and to thank God for. Because remember, it was His idea… .
God's gifts are masculinity and femininity within the human race and there was never meant to be any competition between them.
The Russian philosopher Bergiath made this statement: 
"The idea of woman's emancipation is based upon a profound enmity between the sexes, upon envy and imitation." 
The more womanly we are, the more manly men will be, and the more God is glorified. As I say to you women, "Be women. Be only women. Be real women in obedience to God." - Elisabeth Elliot
A man needs a women to come home too, to fill his belly with a warm meal, replenish his soul and give him rest from the battles he must face everyday.   
A women can’t do this if she is in constant competition with him. 
He needs a place where he can take off his armour, let down his guard and there is only one place that can do that for a man-
authentic femininity.
This is a vulnerable place for a man to be, put he can’t help but be vulnerable in her presence. 
A women can make a man feel like he can conquer the world, with her smile a gentle touch and he may even do this because of her, for her.  The care and understanding a women provides to her man builds his self-esteem, her soft words provide a bed for his weary body,  makes him feel more manly. 
If you want to make a man feel more like a man.. the answer is simple - be a women.  And be an authentic women.  And that, is the lesson for today ladies.

You can see what a stir Louise made. The hubbub in the bars rose and eddied. There was a LOT more to say. But it will have to wait until another day, soon.

I was busy changing barrels, pulling taps, pouring wine and climbing down to and up from the cellar  half the time and missed much.

Perhaps you might like to join in with YOUR views.

I'll pour the drinks.

I have a fine bottle of Pax Dei Vobiscum to send home with the best comment and leave you with this last image.

Yes, it is all 'things', marketing, enormous 'cost', and demands a LOT of putting of someone's hands to the distaff and spindle !!


(And please excuse the 'formatting'. It really does need a 'woman's touch' !)


  1. Perhaps because my mum was a feminist my role models tended to be very feminine.I loved Princess Grace [who truly did have grace and femininity], Mary Tyler Moore, Carol Burnett and more recently, Princess Diana. To me they were all modern women who could stand up for themselves but still conducted themselves with grace, class and femininity.

    "....we cannot be women, and men cannot be men...."

    This is so true and worse,to be so, people think is old fashioned or weak,when we get along best when we make the best of our individual gender's traits which compliment each other. Myself, I LOVE masculine men because that is what men are supposed to be-mascuilne.

    I can see why men would want feminine women too.Why would they want anything else?

    Good post Amfy. You're able to write about this topic without demeaning women or sounding bitter,which I appreciate for it allows an opportunity for dialogue. :)

    I hope that you're well and rested. x

    1. There is more to come, Uber, m'dear, and for this one we have to thank the hard and deep thinking of the lovely Louise who likes the company in the bar as much as the customers like her. But by the Lord Harry she can throw curly ones into the conversation.

      As with Art, so with women. The average old Knight knows what he likes when he encounters it.

  2. Femininity starts with something very simple: quietness. Here's an article that's helps my point:

    1. The 'Peaceful' aspect is crucial, isn't it. A calming influence. Of course two issues quite outside a woman's control need to be factored-in. One is her own 'structure': her monthly cycle. It is very difficult to be peaceful when part of one's body is revolting against its own major defining aspect.

      The second is the husband. Some chaps need to strive to be peaceful too. Those who provoke the otherwise peaceful hornet's nest get a response. The lady in your link story had quite some tolerance in play. Fortunately that had the desired effect but she was still demeaned by he who should have been on her side, not making the tolerance needed at such a level.

      He needs a drink from one of my special bottles. She can have a glass of bubbly.

  3. Great piece amfortas...

    True femininity is an art form. You really have to work at it...and the world is not allowing it to dance right now.

    Pity. (The drummer)

    1. Yeah. The Drummer pops by with a tint riff. Yes, it is an art and any 'proper' artist will attest to the hard work needed to perfect the styles and techniques. But the current fashion is for graffiti and unmade beds and blobs of garish.

      Professor 'Enery 'Iggins was of the opinion that things would be better if only women were more like men. Not many men get to be professors. You can see why. Most men respond very positively to femininity which (I am of the opinion for what it is worth) irks feminists considerably. There are many solid reasons to piss feminists off, and encouraging women to be feminine is as good a way as any.

  4. Some food for thoughts. Lots to consume... may take me into next week. And then to contemplate!
    Your point about femininity being oppressed by feminism appears somewhat accurate.. particularly when one sees the history of women trying to have (apparently) what men have.
    The myth of Men having all the good times in life has quickly been understood to be false by women I know in the work-force. In fact, many women I know dream of not having to work as much in the corporate world and to become 'home-makers'. And many men would wish the same... the corporate life sucks. So... nobody is happy. hahhahahaa What a miserable state of affairs.

    1. Lots to consume, indeed. It went on for ages. Still going on too. But fear not, a shipment of barrels and bottles is wending its way up the hill.


Ne meias in stragulo aut pueros circummittam.

Our Bouncer is a gentleman of muscle and guile. His patience has limits. He will check you at the door.

The Tavern gets rowdy visitors from time to time. Some are brain dead and some soul dead. They attack customers and the bar staff and piss on the carpets. Those people will not be allowed in anymore. So... Be Nice..