Wednesday, March 29, 2017

The Exotic Barber

As Lent draws to its finale toward Easter we do the 'Washing of Feet' in humility and it looks as though this year I shall have to put my feet in the frame at my Church. But here in the Tavern I decided to give my customers a treat at the other end. The Head. So I invited some barbers in from around the world. Today it was for the chaps. The Gentlemen and Heroes, the Saints and the Knights, yea even unto the King m'self. I shall let some loose on the ladies soon enough.

I usually get my hair sorted in a straight forward fashion thrice or four times a year: short back and sides and a beard trim.  It is a no-nonsense bizzo. But I am an old fashioned sort of chap, unlike the modern 'metrosexual' bloke who prefers to doxy his hair like some sort of nancy in the manner of a footballer or other such thug who carves lines and signs on his scalp.  

Most men's haircuts are not designed to be a 'pleasurable' affair, but there are exceptions. 

I recall many years ago when travelling to battle in the far eastern lands I would more frequently visit a barber who sat his clients on the pavement next to a busy street and treated them not just to a fine haircut but to luxurious and really pleasurable handling of face and scalp, and even deal blows to aches in the shoulders and neck.  They offered a wide choice of service.

In strange lands one can find exotic barbers. 

So too did I offer my customers choice.

Yes, I would let him loose on my visage. Even the ladies seem to enjoy such ministrations, albeit without the razor.  Of course they get additional services that might get a chap rolling his eyes. Here, Baba the Cosmic Barber calls down the powers of the Universe that float into his establishment, just to add to her good looks.

I doubt she would have sat on the street though.

The Italians are always good for splendid service too and quite unafraid of letting ladies loose on suitably restrained gentlemen. (And Knights).

The Scapicchio Family is one of the most ancient family barber businesses still in activity in Italy. Since 1820 five generations have been handing down the art of shaving. It was a great honor to have them visit the Tavern. Here the first part of the face shave performed by Master Enzo with the help of Pina.

Pina can hot-towel my face for a full hour. I would take a nap ! Soft hands: gentle touch. What more can a chap want. Well, a shave I guess.

I do not wholly recommend Turkish barbers. Not only is a Mohammedan with a razor at your throat a bit of a worry, they sometimes use fire too ! I suppose one could talk to them nicely and avoid mentioning football. 

This is a typical Turkish barber in action, from "Sultanahmet" in Istanbul,Turkey.

A Complete Service....Cut, Shave, Head Massage, and Trimming the hairs out of the ears with Fire: the art of shaving, eh ! 

Perhaps they use fire to express something about bald chaps being seen in the shop.

I mentioned the nancies.  There are some really weird ways of having one's hair it seems. Men's haircuts for women and vice versa. Haircuts for 'other-than-humans' too. Even totally bald chaps can get 'treatment'.

 There are wide choices and strange requests. Be careful what you ask for.

But almost overlooked are the fine chaps with beards. I have had hair long and short and my beard too. Beards need a skilled professional, although to my knowledge most chaps take care of their own. At least we can see our beards. 

But enough. Hot towels away and out with the hairspray. We shall look next time at the ladies and what gymnastics they put their hairdressers through.

Meanwhile quench your thirst and douse any singed hair with fine ale. Drink up.


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Ne meias in stragulo aut pueros circummittam.

Our Bouncer is a gentleman of muscle and guile. His patience has limits. He will check you at the door.

The Tavern gets rowdy visitors from time to time. Some are brain dead and some soul dead. They attack customers and the bar staff and piss on the carpets. Those people will not be allowed in anymore. So... Be Nice..