It has been said to me a few times - by wenches - that I am an old curmudgeon who does not like women. Some have even accused me of 'having problems' with the fair sex. This is sheer calumny of course, albeit with an element of truth in the latter. Who has not had problems with women?
Especially when they are having a 'Bad Hair Day'.
Put your hands up anyone who has escaped 'problems' with women. Crikey even women have problems with women. But we love them ne'ertheless. We love 'em long into their life if not well enough for their applause.
If truth had to be told, the ladies are and always have been the source of great pleasure and entertainment for me. For any red-blooded man (and my blood is red, I can tell you from having spilt so much on battlefields) loves the ladies. Knights especially. He may go off and battle feminists and socialists and society wreckers because he has to, but he comes home to his Lady because he wants to. His work is his burden and brings her jewels and bacon but his lady is his love and she brings him pleasure. We start that very early.
And ladies start attending to their hair very early too.
A woman's hair is her crowning glory, they say. Quite rightly so in many cases. And she can do so much with it if she is smart. The smart, witty, sensitive, feminine woman can be a delight to any man and especially when she attends to how she looks.
A chap can learn quite early on that playing with a lady's hair is as pleasurable as sitting in an exotic barber's chair mentioned earlier. A wise chap will share his pleasure with his wife, brushing her hair, and with his daughters, helping them to learn how to take care of it. It can be fun.
It can go well beyond this.....
He ought to learn the basics. Here is a tutorial for the Fast French Braid. Once you get this down, you can knock it out in just a few minutes. This hairstyle is great for sports, gymnastics or running. Practice makes perfect, so daddies please try it.
Many women spend large amounts of money in the hairdressers. They often take pleasure in getting their hair done. But sometimes 'tis best they do things themselves. They might diet easier too. Bythe way, don't stop watching when she says stop. You know how it is when they say 'stop'.
So, for the ladies, some hairdressing tips. And pay attention gentlemen. Your lady (or wench) may seek your assistance. You must be up to the task !
Here is a simple French Braid.
The Dutch go one better.
I know which I prefer, but each to his (and her) own.
There are complex styles which can be mastered. (?) Mistressed? And some not.
Don't try this at home.
Practice not only makes perfect but can afford a couple a fun time together. Does this look as difficult to do as the end result looks beautiful?
How about an elegant bun? Frankly chaps, if she can do it behind her head, you can do it for her right before your nose. (Especially with clean and sweet smelling hair)
Start from simple and work your way up.
A Twist can go down well too. It is elegant and suits many 'occasions' including staying at home in your castle. Just the two of you.
For the busy woman who has to look after the castle while you are away, and supervise all the wenches that 'do' and try to out-do her, she could simply put her hair up along with her sleeves, but keep it sweet.
There are many quite practical reasons why woman 'DIY' their hair, which gives a chap opportunity to lend a loving hand. Among the reasons is the fact that not all hairdressing establishments are patronised by nice people. Wenches ain't ladies. There are such wenches that ought to be on the battlefield !!
Well coiffeured ladies and heroes, fill and raise your glasses.
To the Ladies.
God Bless 'em.