Thursday, December 15, 2016

Christmas Present Time !

I know what I want for Christmas. Do you?  Every year I ask Santa for just one thing: a phone call from a special person. I have not got it for many, many years. I guess I have not been good enough. How about you? Have you made Santa's 'Good' list or are you stuck somewhere on his Bad list? 

Failing the one thing I would like I could suggest a few other things of somewhat lesser value. And I am not alone: there are customers with their own wants, some quite valuable and needing a very well heeled Santa.

So, as usual every year, I have collected a few suggestions to suit everyone's budget.

Top of the list, of course.... droit de Tavern Keeper.... is my #2 choice. At a mere $ quarter of a mill.

Somehow I can't see it fitting in Santa's sack, but it could fly alongside the sleigh. 

For those with an even more watersome desire, and costing around the same .......

No, it's not your own Orca but a submarine. 2 person.  A pretty damned fancy one, mind you. Wow.

But there is far more likelihood of getting (or giving) something somewhat less expensive, so we turn to the suggestions.

Gnomes, of course, last all year.  Well some do.

And you don't want walking dead gnome lurching up in the dark, so a well lit gnome might be handy.
The sun shines in and the light shines out !

And more. To Trump anyone else's Gnomes. !

But there are other things too.

For the absent minded but very outgoing Professor types.

And for those who like a tipple... (well it is a Tavern)...

Who looks at the underside of the mug they drink from? Hahaha.

Or for those foreigners who could up to now only wish they could speak properly....
For When a British Accent Cuts
Very Handy around the Tavern !!

And one from my faithful and effective Bouncer, that can be yours too..

And because we all know some who need it.

For the auto sorts, the revhead wannabees, don't forget to drop a bottle of this in their stocking. You won't even have to pay for it.

And for old folk, like me so often, especially when I think I have corrected a typo......
Finally, the 'must have' accessory in every public toilet, especially now we are confronted with 'transgendered' folk..... Please place outside the closed door !!

I am sure you can suggest some more of your own.

Now I have to consider Christmas music. Next post.



  1. At a loss for words over that lot. May you get the first.

  2. Once had a thesaurus rex, don't know what happened to it.

    1. It went extinct, snuffed it, died, passed over, lent out, given away as a present.

    2. Oh... That thesaurus rex... DNA preserved in Amber, extinct but resurrected to cause mayhem! Just because you can, it doesn't mean you should ;-)

    3. Top of my wish list is 'Peace on Earth'. I am probably expecting too much ;-)

    4. We are on a Promise for 'Peace on Earth'. But it may be in someone else's Christmas Stocking some time in the future.


Ne meias in stragulo aut pueros circummittam.

Our Bouncer is a gentleman of muscle and guile. His patience has limits. He will check you at the door.

The Tavern gets rowdy visitors from time to time. Some are brain dead and some soul dead. They attack customers and the bar staff and piss on the carpets. Those people will not be allowed in anymore. So... Be Nice..