Monday, January 1, 2018

2017 Oz Squinty-eyed Oik Awards

I had a splendid Christmas and New Year in fine company and with much celebration. Pretty well everyone was glad to see the back of 2017, although to be frank I was quite thankful that I had managed to last all the way through.  My new year resolution is to last right through 2018 too.

From my cave we saw the fireworks not far away, but through a very slight merry-effect on the eyes caused by the fine ales that flowed.

But looking forward, even in a happy state is for tomorrow, as today in the Tavern we cast our eyes and ears back through the fading year to review the 'Oik Award' contenders. And what a great year it had been for the stupid, the fatuous, the 'just can't help themselves' and the deliberate. You can choose for yourselves just which half-wit gets the prize.

I was so busy rushing from bar to bar that I did not see who it was that chaired the panel of Judges in the Pin and Balloon Bar with a long pointy needle at the ready.  Of course, most of the contenders were home-grown, with just a few international ring-ins to give flavour and some spice. I am sure customers from far-flung Anglophile regions could nominate their own oiks. As before, most are of the Left, which shows consistency.
left’s year of Trump-phobia and other insults
There was much hope that the Year of the Rooster would usher in a time of honesty and moral fortitude, which would fit in with the search for individual and collective wellness throughout the land.

And there were good signs when it was realised that, contrary to many a prediction by Canberra academic Hugh White, another 12 months had passed without a military conflict between the US and China.
Alas, it soon became evident that 2017 was a bit like any other time — replete with hyperbole, historical distortion, wish fulfilment and false prophecy. Month by month:
January: London-based Australian economist Steve Keen is fawned on by Fairfax Media’s Patrick Commins for his foresight. It’s almost a decade since Keen predicted a 40 per cent drop in home prices following the global financial crisis. Keen seems to hold the view that he is so far ahead of his time that his prophecies are yet to be fulfilled.
Oz home prices have continued to climb despite the best efforts of Krudd and Gillard some years back, robbing Petrov and Pedro to pay Pauline and Pashmina. 
Writer George Megalogenis praises former Labor prime minister Gough Whitlam for having Justin Trudeau-like progressive policies on refugees. Megalogenis overlooks the fact Whitlam tried to stop Vietnamese refugees from coming to Australia when he was in office.
February: Federal parliamentarian Bob Katter appears on Sky News’ Paul Murray Live and alleges that, as treasurers, Labor’s Paul Keating and the Coalition’s Peter Costello “doubled the dollar in value”. 
He just made this up but was not corrected by the presenter. 
ABC Radio Sydney presenter Wendy Harmer, a member of the eco-catastrophist club, rails against the construction of Western Sydney Airport at Badgerys Creek on environmental grounds. She reckons it will add to the heat in western Sydney, making the area “unlivable”. Harmer also predicts that the tarmac will melt — which makes you wonder how people live and travel in, say, Dubai.

It is a similar story that global warming will force people everywhere to endure the sort of 'Beautiful one day, perfect the next' that Queenslanders boast about.  Fortunately the warmists will continue to get hot under the collar despite falling temperatures and the lack of sunspots.
March: ABC journalist Eric Campbell announces that not only is President Donald Trump a “dreadful man” but he has a “dreadful family”. Campbell asks, how did this nightmare happen? The answer is, Trump got elected.
The Vox Populi is something lefties hate with venom. They would much rather an 'Appointment'.
Australian National University astrophysicist Brad Tucker tells Leigh Sales on ABC’s 7.30 that it would take about 750,000 years to reach a recently discovered new solar system. Asked about any qualities that would make the planets in it habitable for humans, Tucker replies, “Firstly, you don’t have Donald Trump as president.” 
A 'just can't help himself' category leader right there.  Funny, one expects better of scientists.
Journalist Paul Bongiorno tweets that “everything” about Nauruans is “undemocratic, unaccountable and offensive”.
He still evaded being called before the Royal Commission into child abuse, despite living with a notorious paedophile priest. He said 'I know nothing' as though he was Manuel from Barcelona. Is there a slippery G'Day category? 
April: The Sydney Morning Herald opens up on the NSW Liberal Party. Heath Aston declares that Bronwyn Bishop’s grip on her seat of Mackellar had once been considered “North Korean in its dominance”. Which makes it unclear how she lost preselection.
It has to be up there with Hilary's debacle. Whoops, I am not a contender. Shaddap ! 
Aston describes Margaret Cunneen SC as part of “the conservative Catholic mafia” that supports Tony Abbott. The use of a term such as “Muslim mafia” would not be cleared for publication at a Fairfax Media newspaper. 
Meanwhile, journalist Sean Nicholls suggests that there was an attempt by the NSW Liberal Party’s right wing to derail the moderate candidate in North Sydney in a “suicide bomber-like” move. 
May: ABC TV’s Media Watch presenter Paul Barry tweets: “No idea if this is true — claim that Trump impeachment process has begun.” 
It hadn’t. 
Bongiorno (again) tweets: “There has been a death at Buckingham Palace, world awaits for an official announcement.” The vibe is that Prince Philip had died. 
He hadn’t. 
On Radio National’s Breakfast, Fran Kelly and Alice Workman agree that the Perth-based Liberal MP Andrew Hastie is part of the “Catholic right”. 
He isn’t a Catholic.
But hey, who cares. Catholic is the new hate-label and we can expect it to be applied to others. 
June: Visiting British political operative Alastair Campbell advises a supportive audience on ABC’s Q&A that he told his former boss Tony Blair that where Adolf Hitler “took a few years before he started to go for journalists and judges, Trump did it in week one”. 
Youda thunk someone would have noticed Trump invading Poland. 
Blair thought this “over the top” — but not, apparently, Q&A presenter Tony Jones. Meanwhile, on The Drum, guest panellist Rory O’Connor supports his 80-year-old uncle’s view that Trump is “doing the same thing” as Hitler did. 
Arguement over, I'd say. 
Harmer expresses surprise that a terrorist attack occurred in an up-market suburb such as Brighton in Melbourne.
July: News emerges of ABC management setting up a staff meeting where those assembled are asked to sit in a ring and talk “through” a plastic toy about how they feel. This attempt at corporate wellness has still not led to the appointment of a conservative in any of the ABC’s prominent programs.
Perhaps it is not surprising. Conservatives have left the 'child-headed' field to the lefties. The competition is too one sided.
The ABC’s Marius Benson opines that “the Trumps look too much like Ceausescus” — a reference to the murderous Romanian communist dictator and his wife.
Someone else has eyesight diminished from too much fine wine. 
Late at night, Sky News’ Ross Cameron tweets: “In a world where trust seems hard to place, the moon will never let you down.” 
Now, that’s handy to know.
August: Sky News presenter Kristina Keneally declares that she would “like to think that Jesus, who excoriated the scribes and Pharisees, would have been a fan” of Tim Minchin. Jesus claimed to be the son of God, Minchin is a proud atheist. 
Failed environmental prophet Tim Flannery reckons that in China “the air’s unbreathable, the water’s undrinkable and the food’s inedible”. 
Yet there are more than a billion Chinese. 
Melbourne barrister Julian Burnside QC links Malcolm Turnbull’s warning on terrorism with the propaganda of Nazi Hermann Goering. On Twitter, Van Badham foretells that Trump will be just like Hitler.
The 'just can't help themselves' category is filling up fast. 
September: Senator Derryn Hinch fesses up that even a “close friend … doesn’t like me”. Some time after Peter FitzSimons praised the Italian health system, his wife Lisa Wilkinson complains of her medical treatment in an Italian hospital that “was like walking into a building in Beirut”. 
The Age’s Julie Szego sees similarities between Turnbull’s language and the “wilful distortion worthy of Uncle Joe” Stalin. 
Sky News’ David Speers reflects that Labor has “held more positions on coal than the Kama Sutra” — opening up a whole new way to interpret Vatsyayana’s tome.
October. Erik Jensen informs The Drum that “racism is the reason” he is editor of The Saturday Paper. 
Writing in Fairfax Media, Steve Biddulph preaches against “dysfunctional men” such as Trump, John Howard, Abbott, Peter Dutton and Eric Abetz. He describes Howard as a “dismal human being”. 
This is abuse posing as argument. 
Journalist Sarah Macdonald “just can’t get over how much smarter Hillary (Clinton) is than Trump”. But not smart enough to campaign in Michigan or Wisconsin, it seems.
Nor beat someone so much less 'smart' . How's Sarah doing?
Peter -Greste reckons it would have been better if the September 11, 2001 attacks had been classified as mass murder, not terrorism.
Just why, beats most folk's consideration. Better get a scientist in.  Perhaps from a 'Trump-free' solar system billions of miles away.
November: The Yes case in the same-sex marriage postal survey prevails by about 62 per cent to 38 per cent despite a Griffith University analysis of Twitter that concluded the No side would gain a narrow victory. 
Two reporters on the influential ABC radio AM program claim that in Rhodesia, which became Zimbabwe, Robert Mugabe “led a guerilla uprising against the British”
At the time, the country was not a British colony. 
Elvis and Stanley had left the building. 
Greens MP Adam Bandt reports that when he “heard that a head of government was cancelling parliament … I thought I was hearing about Zimbabwe, not Australia”. 
The reference was to the Prime Minister’s decision that the House of Representatives would not sit for one scheduled week. 
Just one.
Oh come on, Judges. This is a Greenie we are talking about. Whaddya expect? 
The year concludes much as it began with so many media types presenting with Trump-phobia. 
On Late Night Live, presenter Phillip Adams and his panellists David Marr, Laura Tingle and Tony Windsor all agree the US President is a dud. 
According to Marr he’s a “buffoon”. 
According to Tingle, Trump is “bringing the world to the edge of nuclear disaster one week and being a buffoon the next week”. 
Meanwhile, The Saturday Paper ends the year with an explanation for the present state of the vale of tears in which we live. 
Its front-page declares: “It’s all John Howard’s fault.” 
Well, at least we know.
And Trump gets a day off !

OK, there you are. Choose. But not the Stay Puff't Marshmallow Man, please.

My prediction for late 2018 is that condemnation of Christians in general and Catholics in particular will increase and be the insult of the year, and Trumpophobia will become a new entry in the DSM and then insults about him will start to diminish from fashion fatigue (or someone noticing that Donald and Melania look nothing like Nicholai and Elena). But by then they will have been over-taken anyway by a new gummunt sponsored and ABC prozletised NGO about 'Violence against Muslims'.  Muslim violence against everyone else will continue. 

Drink to 2018.



  1. Can't quite get my head around all the bastardry out there, possibly until January 8th but you've had a fine stab at it.

    1. Your starter for ten. I am sure that the UK can provide candidates. Hopefully the USA and elsewhere can add theirs too.

  2. Well, it's nice to know Trump is on everybody's mind. Ha ha.

    The Americans stood up and gave a big finger to the world elites, who still believe themselves to be superior to the grunts below, and the death wish of Prince Phillip that millions of people on the planet die by 'virus' won't be realized this year, thanks to my good friend amfortas, who with cup in one hand, sword in another, defends the bastions of sanity with daily practice.

    Happy New Year amfortas! the Knight of the Bar, is the best we've got.
    And a big toast to all his followers.

    1. Thank you my dear and may Nobody not fail or falter in holding their end of the trans-Pacific cudgel with which we whack the bad and rescue to good. In the Tavern we raise our tankards and a loud cheer for your Opinion.


Ne meias in stragulo aut pueros circummittam.

Our Bouncer is a gentleman of muscle and guile. His patience has limits. He will check you at the door.

The Tavern gets rowdy visitors from time to time. Some are brain dead and some soul dead. They attack customers and the bar staff and piss on the carpets. Those people will not be allowed in anymore. So... Be Nice..