I was out and over the hedge today scouring the consumer palaces in the sinful city, the teeming metropolis, and was fortunate to acquire some quite nice things for those I am close to. I have to keep those secret though.
Meanwhile, as usual this time of the year, Tavern customers have suggested some stocking fillers and perhaps some pleasant surprises for waking up to on Christmas morning (that did not include Rose from Dr Who).
So, let us see what they have come up with. The travellers amongst them seemed to like this one.
Fancy yourself as a bit of a globe trotter? Heading towards the Ten Million Miles Club like George Clooney? Then don’t waste time showing off by sticking pins in world maps - get yourself a My Travel Scratch Map!
Brilliant in its simplicity, this smart wall map depicts the world in all its jiggidy, jaggedy continent covered glory. So far, so what? Well here’s the clever bit: the land masses are covered in foil that can be scratched off to reveal the countries you’ve visited. Let’s see…New Zealand, Hong Kong, France…and oh yes, Timbuktu, erm somewhere...
Don’t worry if you’re not exactly Phileas Fogg in the travel stakes. The thought of scratching off new destinations serves as a great incentive to pack your suitcase. Failing that, lie. Just make sure you’ve got a good story if you scratch off Antarctica. Happy trails!
Not that many Oz folk go to colder climes for Christmas when there is a BBQ on the beach to be had. And what does a BBQ need?
CUSTOM BBQ BRANDING IRON
It's called the Custom BBQ Branding Iron because you can customise what you brand onto your steak!
That's right, folks! The 52 interchangeable letters means you can change what you brand onto your meat. Will you brand each steak with the owner's name? What about branding a cheeky message onto your friend's steak?
It's so easy to use. Simply:
• Choose the letters for the message you'd like to brand
• Slide the letters into the Branding Iron
• Heat the Iron
• Press Iron down onto the steak
• Hold for 10 - 15 seconds
• Voila! Branded Steak!
A great way to keep track of which steak is for whom, so you never give the 'Rare' to Mr. Well Done ever again! A practical novelty BBQ gift for backyard BBQ Kings and Queens.
And Knights and Tavern Keepers of course, I shall have on mine........
The Knight & Drummer Tavern.
A problem always arises though around BBQs. Flies. So.....
FLY ASSASSIN | FLY GUN SWATTER
When the mercury starts warming up, do you find yourself with the swatter out instead of a nice cold drink? Flies are annoying, gross and for some, a challenge. Get your game face on and go into this fight with a real fly weapon. This Fly Assassin Gun Swatter is fast, fun and guaranteed to get you results.
• Get rid of that annoying buzz
• Fun, fast and effective
• Great for the office
• Safety string so the dart doesn’t fly far.
Mind you how are we to know if the day will be right for a BBQ? We need some sort of weather predictor.
FITZROY'S STORM GLASS | TEARDROP
The storm glass was developed by Admiral Robert Fitzroy and used on his historic voyage with Charles Darwin on the HMS Beagle.
Darwin actually stepped ashore not 500 metres from my cave.
Not many people know that.
The unique liquid inside the sealed tear drop responds to changes in the weather, allowing the observer to forecast the possibility of storms, snow, wind, rain or clear skies. Although modern meteorology is far more accurate, these elegant glasses still hold aesthetic appeal.
Fitzroy spent years carefully documenting how the specific mixture inside the storm glass would respond to changes in the the weather:
• If the liquid in the glass is clear, the weather will be bright and clear.
• If the liquid is cloudy, the weather will be cloudy as well, perhaps with precipitation.
• If there are small dots in the liquid, humid or foggy weather can be expected.
• A cloudy glass with small stars indicates thunderstorms.
• If the liquid contains small stars on sunny winter days, then snow is coming.
• If there are large flakes throughout the liquid, it will be overcast in temperate seasons or snowy in the winter.
• If there are crystals at the bottom, this indicates frost.
• If there are threads near the top, it will be windy.
This Tear Drop Storm Glass comes with an elegant stand, making it a wonderful gift and a conversational room ornament.
• Great gift for science geeks
• Predict the weather by observing the changes in the size and shape of the liquid crystals
• Stylish and beautifully designed
• Comes with elegant stand & beautifully gift boxed
• Dimensions: 24 cms tall including stand
• Material: Glass
What do people drink at a BBQ, when the beer is all gone? The 'correct' Oz chap with some class will take that timeless beverage - Tea.
DOCTOR WHO TARDIS TEAPOT
Is your teatime a little dull? Don't you wish you could be sipping tea aboard the Tardis? We do... but we'll add that we hope that it's not choppy on the time-stream because we don't want to scald ourselves. Nothing's worse than the combination of hot tea and astral turbulence.
You may need to get ahold of one of these toot sweet maties as changes are afoot: the next Doc is to be a woman !! She may well want a new paint job - Pink !! - and a blue Tardis may be a collector's item.
• For the Earth beverage known as tea
• Lid helps keep the heat in so you don't have to reheat between cups
• Drink up and escape to a different time
• Great gift for Doctor Who fans
Proper Taverners though will want some of the Good Stuff and I recommend coasters under your glass. Here are some splendidly blokey ones. I am ordering twenty dozen m'self.
MINI WOODEN PALLET COASTERS – SET OF FOUR
Wooden pallets are the trendy, new age life accessory that recyclers, trendsetters and everyone in-between can’t get enough of. Creating a classy, minimalistic edge in any environment, wooden pallets have been turned into all manner of household furniture from coffee tables to deck chairs. However, if your house is already crammed full and you really don’t have any room for this hip and happening décor display, then these coasters are the perfect solution.
Made to resemble their full size big brothers, these mini pallets are prefect for hot and cold beverages alike. So get your hipster on, spread the pallet appreciation and add a trace of industrial chic to your home.
• A set of four mini pallets for hot and cold drinks
• Industrial chic, perfect for any living space
• Stay trendy and acknowledge your inner hipster
And when your eyes get a tad bleary, you may need these....
MIMICRO MINI MICROSCOPE
Have you ever had a close look at a five dollar bill? A REALLY close look? What about the wing of a butterfly? Or even the back of your hand? Turn your world upside down with this pocket-sized miraculous microscope. Explore invisible worlds you’ve never experienced and reveal hidden details full of beauty, weirdness and wonder.
The MiMicro magnifies objects by 60x their original size. When turned on, a soft light illuminates your subjects and the focus wheel helps you find maximum details. There is even a built in black light; bank notes and even some bird feathers become magical patterns of light when viewed under this UV light. Included is a handy LED torch available for times of need as well as a soft pouch for storing. Children and grownups of all ages will never tire of exploring these unseen worlds. So prepare to have your mind blown with wonder as you start your adventure into the unseen.
• Illuminates and magnifies objects to 60x their size
• Pocket size and super powerful
• White and UV illuminating lights will brighten up any subject
• Nothing can escape your super stare!
There, those should keep you entertained. But for the really lonely chap over in the corner, all on his tod, a girlfriend might be appreciated. Someone give him one of these.
GROW A GIRLFRIEND
Looking for the girl of your dreams? Psst, want a girlfriend without the pesky dating, silly questions, nagging, jewelry and - gasp - mother-in-laws? With Grow A Girlfriend novelty toy, all you have to do is add water!
• Perfect gag gift for a mate
• Grow the perfect girl within 72 hours
• Yes, she will not nag!
1. Put your girlfriend in a jar or container full of clean water at room temperature to watch it start growing
2. Note that the water temperature should be between 59-95 °F or 15-35°C
3. Do not expect instant results as it takes up to 72 hours to fully expand
4. Take it out of the water to watch it shrink back to its original size.
You can find these and more, with some prices too at....
But don't tell'em I sent you.
Of course, YOU might have some other gift ideas.
My own choices may differ from yours but some of the things I see at a friend's place could fit someone's bill. Take a look...