Monday, August 10, 2015

Women's views of Masculinity

Mankind's task in Life is to Know. And to Love. And to Serve. God. But that does not stop us trying to find ways to know and discover just what mankind is in the fiirst place. We spend an inordinate amount of time discovering just who it is that we are before we even get around to the knowing, loving and serving bit, let alone the One it is all directed toward.

My Supplier is very patient.

We try so hard to define who we are and all too often, especially these days, we ignore nature and try overly hard to mold human beings to our own purposes and images. But 'Nature' wins out. And we can get a pretty good idea of what humans are about by observing them. We 'ostensively' define. By Example.

Not Ideology.

Men observe women a lot, and vice versa. We all comment, much to the chagrin of some. Hypocrites too.

Thank Goodness there are better women around. But observe gender roles we will. Sometimes in observing the roles we lose sight of the human being: the 'Image of God'.

Take barkeeping for instance. Do you see masculinity in sleeves-rolled- up chaps behind the bar, quietly commiserating with those deep in their cups? Femininity in the buxom wench pulling your pint and giving a saucy look?

Do you see my Supplier?

We have both sorts here and a new one too.

I have appointed a new Barmaid. She observes quite well. And she is going to speak up a bit more than she has in the past as a customer.  
Yep, Southern Gal has joined the Staff in the Tavern, y'all.

I can see quite a bit of the Supplier in her.

And today she had a few things to say, observing men.  I have to warn you that she reads a lot !!
“Men cannot be men—much less good or heroic men—unless their actions have meaningful consequences to people they truly care about. Strength requires an opposing force, courage requires risk, mastery requires hard work, honor requires accountability to other men. Without these things, we are little more than boys playing at being men, and there is no weekend retreat or mantra or half-assed rite of passage that can change that. A rite of passage must reflect a real change in status and responsibility for it to be anything more than theater. No reimagined manhood of convenience can hold its head high so long as the earth remains the tomb of our ancestors” 

― Jack Donovan, The Way of Men
Trust her to be provocative.  A quote from a chap who some might say barely qualifies as a chap. If he were to stride out onto the criket field you would have to guess which side he was going to bat for. But, heck, our observations from even deep in the Pit can sometimes illuminate. Not all words, like balls, are off the crease. But I interrupt. Sorry.
In the recent past the Tavern Keeper let me cover what the core of authentic femininity means. This time, I will attempt to celebrate manhood at its core and hope to bring a better understanding as to how we (as women) should celebrate man in his authentic form, the way God and nature intended him to be.

It is often believed that masculinity is bestowed.  At the core of masculinity is a desire for action.   A young boy learns who he is from other men.  There comes a time when he will begin to detach from his mother and begin to seek out his father's attention.  Manhood cannot be learned from other adolescent boys or from women; it is something that must be taught from generation to generation, passed down from father to son. 
“Men may seem as detestable as joint stock companies and nations; knaves, fools and murderers there may be; men may have mean and meager faces; but man, in the ideal, is so noble and so sparkling, such a grand and glowing creature, that over any ignominious blemish in him all his fellows should run to throw their costliest robes.”

– Herman Melville,  Moby Dick
Er.... just to be clear. This is NOT Moby Dick.
He is simply Mopey someone, contemplating the deep questions of life.
I have a pint on the counter for him.
When someone tells a man to be a man, they mean that there is a way to be a man. A man is not just a thing to be—it is also a way to be, a path to follow and a way to walk. Some try to make manhood mean everything. Others believe that it means nothing at all. Being good at being a man can’t mean everything, and it has always meant something” 

― Jack Donovan, The Way of Men

Women are often taught in the west to fear masculinity.  In the past it was something our predecessors understood as the yin/yang to our femininity.   
It was easily noticeable to the authentic female.   
Women of old understood that men needed a certain amount of space to be men.  This wasn't something that changed after men got married or became fathers.  It was something that continued to develop throughout a man's lifetime.  Once upon a time it was something that women respected about men.  

“Strength, Courage, Mastery, and Honor are the alpha virtues of men all over the world. They are the fundamental virtues of men because without them, no “higher” virtues can be entertained. You need to be alive to philosophize. You can add to these virtues and you can create rules and moral codes to govern them, but if you remove them from the equation altogether you aren’t just leaving behind the virtues that are specific to men, you are abandoning the virtues that make civilization possible.” 

― Jack Donovan, The Way of Men
Hmmmmm. Very plausible words can often decieve. The root of all virtue is Humility. So I am told. It is fundemantal and from this it is that the list of quaities Jack notes is derived. In my Humble, but very Experienced opinion. But the qualities are of defining importance. 
Women shouldn't associate manhood with wealth, a man can be a multimillionaire and not have courage on a battlefield.  He may run and hide when the bullets start flying.  His wealth may attract women but his money doesn't make him masculine.  The wealthy man may be cunning, deceptive and not hold to his word.  Money and women have very little (if anything) to do with masculine virtues. 
These values are "pseudo" masculinity.   
They are fake, they are as twisted as the modern "feminine" they are undisciplined and lazy.  It is "hypo-masculinity." 
 This is why imposing the feminine on the masculine doesn't work.   
Likewise the same can be said of imposing masculine virtues on women.  Masculine virtues are - MASCULINE.  Feminine virtues is something entirely different.  The end result comes out with something twisted and unnatural.  This is why the bully or men who use people are incomplete in their manliness.  Honor codes escape him, as does duty and responsibility.  

One of my favorite movies is "The Last of the Mohicans".  Hawkeye and Cora are my two favorite characters in the movie.  Hawkeye plays a man, wild, untamed, ready for action.  It's some of the things (as a women) that I find so attractive about masculinity.  Cora is an authentic female, she is soft, docile, receptive, everything a women should be.  She can't help but be drawn to him.

This is why the foot soldier commands so much respect.  He may not have a world of wealth but he has what I admire most about authentic masculinity: strength, mental toughness, bravery, heart, valor and the will to fight evil for the greater good.   
That is masculine 
and it is a beautiful thing.  

  "Of the Marines on Iwo Jima, uncommon valor was a common virtue." -- Chester W. Nimitz

An example of the type of courage shown during conflict is demonstrated in what Creighton W. Abrams said during the Battle of the Bulge, "They've got us surrounded again, the poor b@stards. 

 Peace cannot be brought to a nation without righteous aggression,  And it must be brought by the strength of strong, brave men.   

Independence is a good thing for men, a certain amount of untamed wildness in the woods is necessary for any man's wellbeing.

Men need space to be free from the constrains of consumerism, from the boardroom to be men.  This is not something that should be held as a mark against men.  I think this is why men often feel better about their problems when action is taken to get it "fixed."  Rather than talking about their problems for hours like women do.  Men typically bond over some form of aggression or action oriented sport.  Whether it be climbing a mountain, blowing things up or competitive weight lifting.  They don't relate the same as women.  Once again this trait shouldn't be held as a mark against them.  We must respect that manhood cannot be taught to boys by women.   
A woman can never understand fully what it means to be male. 
Thank goodness, I say. Let us remain even just a little mysterious to you ladies. By the Lord Harry to are a mystery to us, I can tell you. !!  

But more. A man left alone - and I mean really alone - as the chap below has been, will adapt and build. He will use his head and hands. He will overcome the daily 'nature' around him to protect and provide for himself. It is what men DO.

"I’ve come to the conclusion that masculinity is the product of both nature and nurture, and that most men need to be surrounded by other men who will challenge them and hold them accountable to reach their full masculine potential. Without that brotherhood, the majority of men will become increasingly weak, effeminate, insecure, withdrawn, and apathetic."

- Jack Donovan 
Yes, he has a point. The question remains however about the standards by which a man is held accountable by his peers. Are they God's Standards? 
“It is not necessary for a man to be actively bad in order to make a failure in life; simple inaction will accomplish it. Nature has everywhere written her protest against idleness; everything which ceases to struggle toward an ideal, the constant effort to get higher and further, which develops manhood and character.”

― James Terry White

 Authentic masculinity doesn't lack emotional intelligence.  Just because a man is masculine doesn't mean he can't be empathetic and caring.   
On of my favorite movies is "The Last of the Mohicans". Daniel Day plays Hawkeye, he is masculine and is everything a man should be.  Honestly there was always something about his character that fascinated me as a teenager.   
He embraces the adventure set before him, he is confident about his mission, he knows who he is.  And he loves, he is not passive, he is passionate with Cora.  I have seen this type of passion in men, I have experienced that with a man.  Men have a great capacity to love.  It is a myth in the modern west that masculinity is evil.  Authentic masculinity inspires real women, it draws us to you.  Watch it here, it's awesome to see.

"A man is never more a man than when he embraces an adventure beyond his control, or when he walks into a battle he isn't sure of winning." 

-John Eldridge "Wild at Heart" pg 213
And never more so than taking his woman !!
Its interesting watching little boys play.  The man child adventures often manifest themselves in playing childhood games like army soldier, firefighter, police officer or some sort of super hero. Small yard sticks become swords they can joust each other with. 
When boys become men, they never really grow out of those desires written into his heart, they are in his DNA. 
 I am hoping to see a new reawakening and appreciation for manhood and authentic masculinity in my country.  Only time will tell I suppose.   
But for now you can rest knowing that there are those of us that see value in you, in who you are, and what you are meant to be as men.  

Splendid. Now pull pints all round, wipe those tables, and flick a cheeky grin.

We shall hear from you as often as you wish.



  1. Was it Tammy Wynette who sang - after all, he's just a man?

    1. Not a very incisive observation she made, was it. The 'just a' is a very common put-down for almost anything. Not being familiar with her song, I am hoping she found some merit in the chap in question at some point.

  2. That was in her song Stand By Your Man.

    It was an odd verse in what is often considered a very antifeminist song.

    I take her to probably have meant that he is only flesh and blood and in need of a woman's support.

    As I said, it is one of the least feminist of popular songs, at least by reputation.

    1. Thanks most thoughtful man :) Yes indeed we are flesh and blood, but 'only'. We are thoughtful too, in degree. You show that she certainly did see some merit beyond the F & B. I shall send her a cocktail .... and a pint for you.

  3. Thanks for giving me a moment at the tavern:) I appreciate it and will look forward to visiting it more often from now on:) I will bring some blackberry cobbler and a jar of sweet tea next time:)

    1. You are welcome and the victuals and tea too. There are vacancies in the Restaurant too. :)

  4. I love men. Without propagandizing, male children grow up to be men. All this BS will be much more gone in a generation or two, because most men will not choose a screaming feminazi, and you're more likely to get a family with a woman who loves the man she marries and the children they create together.

    1. Indeed wee kiddies do grow up to be men and they observe all the systemic horrors going on against them. It is not so much the lack of fine women but the explosion in the legal traps and punitive cruelties they impose that add the coup de grace to many a young man's fancy.

  5. I think that if boys grow up with proper role models (both male and female) around them they will grow into fine men. That may be a physical hands on role in their chosen occupation or it could mean a directional role helping and guiding people. Men are all different and like Moira I love them, men are wonderful :-)

    With regards to 'Stand by your Man', I always took the word's 'he's just a man' to mean that men are vulnerable and need love and support.

    1. The role model issue I can agree with. The problem du Jour is that far too many boys and girls have no role model at home and those on the ubiquitous entertainment list are almost all the sort of model one wants to avoid.

  6. Well, I don't really have anything to say about what men "should" be because that's not really my place. Then again, I really don't have too much to say on what women "should" be either. And that is not only because how can I be sure my "shoulds" are correct, but because I believe that is between them and God anyway. who knows what is correct much better than I do:)

    In other words, I "try" not to "should" on other people, just myself :)

    Except for my daughter, of course. And the best I can hope for on that, after a certain age, is is that earlier seeds planted come to fruition, most of which have:)


    1. Hmmmmm. I think we all have our 'shoulds' and some are quite reasonable expectation of normality. It's when they are not, and simply imposition that the problems arise. Hence the intro note about observation and not ideology. But thank you for your observations of yourself.

    2. I hope it was clear I was addressing the trendy "societal shoulds" not always being correct, not you or anyone else's "shoulds."

      I wast just saying I try not to contribute to such societal trends myself, other than when such issues come to a vote, because my personal plate tends to be more than full in my own back yard and community:)

      My apologies if that wasn't clear, I type fast and go sometimes, more than I "should" (har har har:)


    3. My shoulds are always right. Hahahahah

  7. PS - Here's a better clarification of my point in my first comment than the one I just left for you, if I may - at the time I wrote the original comment, I was thinking of the captioned picture above with the woman screaming about how a man should behave and being oppressed by gender roles and the societal push on that.

    I meant I have found it more productive for me to worry about/ focus my energy on how I should behave and respond, more than how men should be behaving, or other people in general - because my behavior is all I can and should control.

    To focus my energy instead on trendy societal pushes towards changing other people is a waste of time and intrusive on private behavior, IMO - but I'm sure I'll have to cast my vote on these issues in some form anyway, in the future, because they always seem find their way to the ballot box in some form ;)

    Anyway, hope this clarifies what I had in mind when I wrote my comment a bit better :)


    1. We have been voting on others' behaviour in various manners since time before voting. Which has been most of the time. The problems arise when we do vote rather than reach a natural consensus. You are right to stick to yourself. What a Knight wears under his armour is his own business.


Ne meias in stragulo aut pueros circummittam.

Our Bouncer is a gentleman of muscle and guile. His patience has limits. He will check you at the door.

The Tavern gets rowdy visitors from time to time. Some are brain dead and some soul dead. They attack customers and the bar staff and piss on the carpets. Those people will not be allowed in anymore. So... Be Nice..