I was recently taken to task by a customer for my dark demeanour. I am a grumpy old Knight sometimes despite the sunny boyish nature of young Percy within. Amfortas the King wears wounds but not lightly.
Those wounds reflect the kingdom beyond the grounds of the Tavern. It is blighted. There is little use ignoring it. The Tavern is not Fawlty Towers where we do not mention the war.
The Grace from the Grail is the Kingdom's cure but one needs a reason to seek it. That reason is deep in our nature. Our nature is under attack and we are at war.
The Lovely Louise set off a deep conversation last week. On Femininity. Femininity lies close to the heart of that war.
Much of the conversation went on for days and I have been too busy to tell more of it. But here today we have Dr Henry adding his view. The Southern Belle herself brought him by. Also we have an observation or two from elsewhere.
Such as from James H, a welcomed regular here, who was telling of the 'non-feminine woman' as a contrast. They are not hard to find but some are old in the tooth and come in many guises.
My work colleague told me yesterday about the woman living in a house for two years with her baby daughter she’d starved to death still there with her.My immediate thought on hearing this was , 'What a metaphor for today: the Feminist woman is killing the feminine woman; Hera is poisoning Psyche'.
Immediate thoughts, once the nausea subsided enough, were that this has gone beyond Daily Mail sensationalism now, where they have this knack of finding the most bizarre stories. Teachers, esp female, having sex with pupils and being let off by authorities; mistreatment of patients in care homes (by incompetent nurses); mothers doing this to their children or rather in their eyes, progeny of their wombs and so it goes on.
My colleague said:
“They’ve lost their souls.”
They’ve lost something all right, they’ve gone into some sort of torpor, maybe drug related, of total nothing, where nothing is important, nothing is anything, life has no joy, no hope. They give way to base instincts and no one even bats an eyelid in their direction. Some of us go tut tut.He gave a first-hand example. One most of us have seen. 'Normal' in every high street.
Yesterday at work, two women came in, chatting in Welsh. They were hard, really hard. You could see it in the lines on both their faces.
The mother shot short, sharp, daggers of sentences out of the corner of her mouth, the daughter emulated her from the other side of the room. The body language was to sweep in, scattering all in their path, heads looking about for whatever they could find.
When most people look at clothing, they approach, pause, go through it, pause, select, look, put back.
These didn’t, they had a sort of open arm manner where they’d approach a rack, one arm would go out and violently smash hanger after hanger back, they then went through the whole shop that way, never skipping a beat, turned and walked straight out through everyone else there.
My jaw dropped.
How could people become so hardened, so unpitying, so totally into themselves?
We tend to get a more genteel type of lady in our place, at least everyone is super-polite in that manner of ours and the contrast with these two was stark. Raw, ill-bred, uncultured.
But what of the expectation of women? Or rather the expectation of a woman's Soul. Her Nature. For make no mistake, especially the error of rejection of the very idea of a Soul: our natures are the Royal Road to our Souls. The Spirit. The Psyche.
So Dr Henry took a seat at the bar and spoke his piece. We listened:
Men Must Champion Feminine Women,
A feminine woman has the effect of a sunrise on a man's soul.
In the words of novelist Alex Waugh, she draws a man "into a magic circle where everything is fresher, cleaner; where there is peace, warmth, comfort. She produces in him the desire to be his best."
Nothing on earth is so fine.
On this continent, increasingly nothing is so rare.
The Official State Gender Ideology, feminism, has decreed that femininity is a "stereotype" invented by men to oppress women.
Feminism is no longer about equal opportunity for women. It is a thuggish, devious synthesis of Marxism and lesbianism used by ruling elites to undermine individuals and weaken society. It is to society what AIDS is to the body.
But men are also to blame.
We have accepted the feminist lie that women should be independent and pursue careers. We have abandoned the many gentle and loving women who instinctively want to build their lives around a man. We have pursued the busy, neurotic, overachievers who guarantee us heartbreak, divorce and broken family.I see many in the bar shuffling their feet. Even mine refused to be still.
By pursuing these women, we are really seeking our own lost masculinity.
Many of us are happy to evade the responsibility of earning a living, and taking charge of a family. In either case we are condemning ourselves to frustration and arrested development.One only has to serve a few rounds to the young men in the Men's Rights Movement to see just this frustration and arrested development. And not just in the MRM of course.
Arrested development underpins the Entertainment Industry almost in its entirety. It used to be part of the 'arts', the cultural expression of the depth of our humanity. Our Spirit. Now it is a captured and mistreated beast.
For heterosexuals to find fulfillment, each sex must assume its instinctive part.
The sex act is a metaphor:
The man's spirit pervades the female and they become one. The male spirit must be active and the female receptive. Many men ignore willing, feminine women who can provide Wholeness. These women cannot thrive, we cannot thrive, unless we recognize, defend and love them.I will get back to this at the end.
What is a feminine woman?
A feminine woman is motivated by love of husband and children. She is the heart of the family, devoted to her husband and children's well being. This is her career. A woman who is preoccupied with another demanding career cannot pay attention to her family. Love is mainly paying attention.
There is a New Yorker cartoon where a child is wearing a welder's mask and using a blowtorch to write, "I need love" on the living room wall. His mother says to her friend: "He's just doing that to get attention."
A feminine woman may have another career but it is her second priority. She is not driven by personal ambition. I liked the movie "Legally Blonde" because the heroine showed that she could excel in the work world but why bother? She had a more important goal: a husband and family.
Career is a feminist lie. Since when are careers the source of human fulfillment?Very few men have ever gained a sense of fulfilment from their paid work. Just look at the hobbies that absorb them. Pigeon fanciers have more passion and involvement in their pursuit than any computer programmer. The pigeon fancier LOVES 'his' pigeons. A collector of French Clocks, like ex Prime Minister Paul Keating adores his clocks while paying no attention to Truth, justice and sound national management, which was his job. He paid less attention to controlling his foul language than he did to winding his precious clockworks.
What is so great about being an Assistant Loan Manager at a bank?
Is society expected to provide legions of eager feminists with "fulfilling" careers to compensate for their loveless lives?
Feminists are teaching women to be "strong and independent." This is not feminine. Men respond to a woman's need. We want to rescue the damsel in distress and to win her favors. This archetype is also innate in women. She wants to be enlisted by a man. A feminine woman DEPENDS on a man.
This doesn't mean she is an emotional waif. She is competent but she doesn't pretend to be independent.Lest the good Dr is misinterpreted here - both men and women need a period of complete independence between adolescence and creative, generative Adulthood. Only then can they be able to grasp the joint gift and sacrifice of Inter-dependence.
Men and women need each other
to be whole.
As long as I have my wife, I am self-sufficient. So is she. Just as the woman is the heart of the family, the man is the head and shoulders. A feminine woman is her husband's partner. They make decisions together but he has the last word.Hah! Now, any man that can achieve this would indeed be World-leader material.
Men must be the visionaries, captains and navigators. A woman's most important decision is the man she chooses to love and marry.Hmmm. I stand behind the bar and look at the rooms and bars in my Tavern. I have a good chef and several lovely visiting chefs. Do NOT eat food that I have cooked. Eat theirs. I have a carpenter and even a mason for the loose stonework. My Tavern Garden would not be so inviting if it were me tending it. I do not have their skills. I respect their knowledge.
A ship cannot be sailed alone. A small boat maybe. But the Captain cannot be the Navigator, the Engineer, the Coxswain.
The feminine woman, I contend, can be the very best of Navigators. She has to know what she is up to of course. She MUST know the Rules for navigating life. As James showed above, the female navigator is almost a threatened species.
The 'Ship' that a man Captains is his Life.
He can prefer to be a skiff. He may arrest his own development by staying a 'one-man' rowing boat. He does all the work, but frankly there is little to do and he is not going to go far.
He can chose to develop himself. Become a far better man, far more powerful and travel the seas. He will need a crew.
When he marries, it is THEIR life. She, his wife, has a role. She is an Important Officer on the Bridge.
She can guide him to not so much simply travel the seas but steer them to their Spiritual Port.
A feminine woman is reserved. She wants a man to pay attention to "her" so she doesn't flaunt her sexuality.
A woman wants to be loved more than anything in the world. She wants to be "known" in all her divinity.
At this point I had to wipe the good Dr down with a damp cloth. He was getting just a bit carried away with his flourishes.
This happens when she is truly loved. Is it a coincidence the Bible uses the word "know" as in Abraham "knew" Sarah, to speak of sexual intercourse? All women are beautiful when they are loved.
Women's liberation has taught women to pursue sex for its own sake, as though they were men. This is not feminine.I would argue, and history confirm, that it is not 'masculine' to pursue sex for its own sake either. Sex is a powerful drive. It has the capacity to Mutiny and take over both the Navigator's and the Captain's jobs.
If a man prefers a new car, why would he marry a "used" woman? He doesn't want a car that's been driven by a lot of men. He doesn't know where it's been, what damage has been done. He will choose a brand new car.
In my wife's words:
"A man wants to be a woman's first lover;
a woman wants to be his last."
I'm not saying all women should save their virginity until marriage but certainly sex should be reserved for honest, loving long term relationships.
Men need to stop looking for sex and start looking for the right woman.
That's the only guarantee of sex anyway. If men chose wives with the same attention as cars, more marriages would succeed. Women are the vehicles to the future, in terms of emotional fulfillment and family.
If men knew where they wanted to go, they would choose women who would get them there. They would not be blinded by sex.Ahha. A small nod to the need for a Navigator.
A feminine woman tries to please the man she loves. No, this has not been outlawed, it just seems that way. A feminine woman generates love by giving love. She empowers her man by believing in him.
Love is expressed in actions and effort. Baking a pie is an act of love. So is making the home beautiful.
Are we so blind, impoverished and demoralized that we cannot appreciate this?
Why have we allowed feminists to stigmatize homemaking?
Women would be more than happy to be homemakers if it received the recognition and appreciation that it deserves.
A feminine woman has grace, beauty and wisdom.
These all come from staying in touch with her spirit and not pursuing an exhausting career that requires masculine qualities.
On the "Oprah" Show, I saw three young women interviewed about the "quarter-life" crisis. They were having trouble getting their careers on track and because of their families' expectations, they were falling apart. Oprah urged these girls to "follow their instincts."
No one mentioned that for women in their early twenties, "following their instincts" might entail having a baby.
No one is following their instincts any more.
They are doing what feminists tell them to do.
It's time men started listening to their instincts too.
We want to be the masters of our domain. We want to love and possess ("pay attention," "know") our wives.
We want to create families that are loving, lively and happy.
It's time we embraced the quiet, unassuming beautiful women who want to be our help mates.
A lot there to drink to. Especially on a Sunday.
But let me go back to the earlier 'metaphor' that Dr Henry gave us. I can see his point but I think he misses a far deeper Truth.
He talks of 'arrested development'. He leads us from there into 'sex'. Well. of course sex is there, but something far and away deeper.
A man will not reveal himself to anyone unless he has total and complete Trust in a person.
He is unlikely to do so in a world which pits him against the rest of the world. He is not 'naturally' a competitive being by simple choice. He HAS to be.
When a feminine woman, like say Louise, says that 'she is his comfort', that is exactly what she needs to be to earn his Trust. If she competes, she loses. So does he.
The 'Compleat Trust' that a couple must build in one another enables the guards to drop and for one another to enter into one another's soul. As Dr Henry says, 'To Know'. But that is not simply sexual.
It is an essential for a man, and for a woman, to Know themselves. But there are aspects of our selves that we cannot see for ourselves , which need another to show to us.
We may be fearful of those aspects. They are 'unknown' to us and we have a natural fear of the unknown.
There are things we know about our selves already that we do not want anyone else to know. We fear that a loved one would reject us or betray us, were we to show those aspects. We do not Trust them. We retain our secrets.
It is ONLY through developing that Trust that we can be shown - by someone who lives us, is with us, and is 'whole' with us - those other things that even we cannot see in ourselves.
It is essential for our development.
Without such, our development is 'arrested'.
A loving and completely trusted wife who has committed herself, is the best person to Navigate a man into the hidden parts of his 'self' and his Soul and reveal it to him.
In doing so she reveals her true self and Soul to him.
Oh.... and it cannot work with a homosexual couple, because the hidden parts 'fit' with an opposite sex partner.
A man cannot know the other half of humanity, HIS humanity, without entering into a woman's Soul, and vice versa.
Men and women need each other
to be whole.
Pax Dei Vobiscum